Overall, This Class....

This class was not what I thought it was going to be! I dreaded this class after the very first day of school. Why? Because Caitlin made us mingle. I was honestly like, "ugh can we just get pass this and move on to the reading and essay writing." I got out of class the first day of school and realized this semester was going to be a long one with this class. And on top of that I was going to have this class three times a week. I do admit that I was wrong to jump to conclusions on my first day of class. From the first day of class I came up with the conclusion that Caitlin was a weird teacher who needed to bring her enthusiasm from a 100 to a 1, I also concluded that Caitlin was going to be one of those professors that makes their students write essays every week, since on the first week she made us write an essay. I feel like I hated this class because of how different it was. This class is not structured the way that I was used to, and I thought it was all wrong, and wanted Caitlin to basically teach us "the right" way.

When Caitlin made me write the evaluation essay, I am not going to lie and I tried really hard. I knew it was just an evaluation essay and she just wanted to see the way we write but I didn't want to be classified as a bad writer. At this time I was still blinded by all my negativity and still didn't like this class. It did take me a while to start warming up to this class as well as liking this class. My liking for this class started when we started to talk about narratives and brought up the example of the show Silicon Valley, and how there was one Indian man all the way in the back and the one in the front was a white man. At this point I realized that that this class wasn't going to be like any previous english class. I knew that I had two options; either I continued with my stubbornness or wanting to take the "academic" and "correct" path or go on this totally opposite path Caitlin made clear she was going to keep on. The only thing I regret was being so harsh and quick to judge because this class has opened my eyes, even more, to some of the things that go unnoticed in this world, which makes me sad and angry how we are taught from a really young age what the "norm" is and anything that isn't the "norm" is just wrong.

Looking back at my writing I can say that this class has taught me how to be comfortable with my style. I went from wanting to write the way I was taught, which I though was the "correct" way, to just sitting down in front of my laptop and just start writing the way I would when speaking to a friend or something. Obviously with the narratives that exist about writing, I still try to keep it on a professional level, however I don't try hard to add hard sophisticated words that I have probably never even used in my my life. We were taught to compose essays a certain way, which is a narrative that exist in our education system. However when talking about writing in our own dialect I realized that as students we are placed in a box where we have pretty much no other options but to follow the rules or else we fail. However it got me thinking, I wasn't brought up with my parents reading books to me at a young age, sending me to reading camps during my summer vacations, nor did I have private tutors helping me. I didn't grow up like some kids that by the time they take their SAT's they get a 20 hundred on it, writing analytical essay was something I struggled with in high school, I hated english with a passion all my life because I was always told this is the correct way to do it like this or else I would fail. But reading all those articles on whether or not we should be able to write in our dialect I realized that there is no one right answer, however that didn't mean that I had to continue writing the way I was taught. I decided that I was going to be myself in my writing, yet still keeping some "rules" Overall I've felt like it was a good compromise.

But aside from my writing I also learned that its important to acknowledged any type of narrative, like cultural,social, and even economical. The list however goes on and on. Personally I have always been aware of some narratives. I use to constantly try really hard to be a "skinny" girl because thats what magazine and runways models look like. But over time  I realized I can't be that and I literally have to work with what I have. Most of my middle school and earlier high school years I spent trying to fit all the "norms" possible. Over time I realized that I wasn't happy being this person that wasn't me, so slowly I started to change pretty much everything about me. Ever since then I have tried to oppress certain narratives, however its not something that comes easy. I myself was blinded with wanting a "normal" english class that it took me a while to realized I was wrong to judge.
For the most part I always try really hard to have an open mind about things and although sometimes I jump to conclusions easily, I always take a step back to think and reflect on things. It may take a while to the the blindfolds that society places on us, when it comes to certain things, but like my great grandma always say, "Its better late than never." My "ideology" when it comes to narratives, is that you have to acknowledge you them, reflect a little, and ask yourself, "How can I do things differently?" Personally thats something that has helped me oppress narrative, because ignoring them or acting like they don't exist, doesn't do much for you as an individual, or for anyone else.